Sunday, June 22, 2008

Self Verdict

Not being able to eat.
Crying so hard my guts ache.

Treated unfairly, treated unkind.
Cut down by people who said they were my friend.

Hoping for a day that may never come.
Hearing how I'm really good - just not quite good enough.

It mixes you up, it crushes your spine. It makes you weak.
It takes everything you've got, and it always wants a little more.
It's the hardest thing I've ever been through.

Q: Was it worth it?
A: Damn right it was. It was worth every minute.

Because I've learned that I can experience real love. I can give it and get it. I can attract someone into my life who loves me. I can love without condition, and even if I lose that love, the good parts will ALWAYS outweigh the bad.

That's knowledge I didn't have a year ago.
That kind of wisdom will change my life forever.

So you ask, was it really worth it?
I'll tell you the truth - I'd do it all over again.

I am so thankful for having someone say those words and have me feeling it.
I have beautiful memories to fill my dreams long after the tears have dried up.
Nothing and nobody can take those memories away from me.

I am a better person from all of this.
And though I have some regrets, I don't regret falling in love in the first place.
When I started this, I couldn't even feel my heart, and now it's the biggest part of me.

As long as I live, I will continue to love.
I will take risks, and I will get hurt, and it might feel sometimes like I'm dying.
But I will not stop giving love.

Being in love means that you're going to get hurt sometimes.
But being in love is being alive.
Living people get hurt; dead people don't.
I am hurt, but I am very much alive.

1 comment:

rdautumnsage said...

I think you learned the hardest lesson of all. We can't predict how things will turn out, we can only take the best of who we are from those elements. Sometimes no matter how much we want something, we can't change the course of events. You learned to love with your heart and not just mere words. That's a pretty profound lesson dear friend. (Hugs)Indigo